I didn't think my head looks so round

Hey asshole's I am not interested in the creamy white legs of girls under the age of 20.  I have a hot girl of 43 who will teach you some things. She can show you some things with a shopping cart and a panda.  (ok perv's I am talking about balloon animals) (sick mf's)

I haven't written for a while, I haven't done anything for a while, I just stopped caring.  I stopped a lot of things, I wish I could stop grieving.  My boss, mentor and friend died in child birth a few weeks ago, I had spoken to her a lot about my mom's passing, she helped me get through it.  Her baby was due on September 14th, mom's birthday.  Her baby came early and she died.  Her daughter lives and is healthy and well.  I am grieving for my friend and my mom once more, it is so difficult to do anything.    We have a new boss now, one of the first things he did to "motivate" us was to tell us that we would be fired at the end of September if we didn't improve our performance.  Because of my seniority I would be the first to go because "I cost to much money"  I put in extra hours and started to feel the increased stress, I started having pains in my chest, just stress.  I started having problems breathing and my jaw hurt, I went to the doc, just stress.  I went into work one day and found that I wasn't going to be fired, the new boss's idea was a "miscommunication" nothing was going to happen "for now" he was just trying to motivate you.  That night I walked over to a bar and got drunk-really drunk.  A friend picked me up-I called into work the next day, felt like crap. The usual, post drinking pains (no longer am I 20) but it frightened me, this is not a good way to react to stress.  I had a stress test done and some other things and found that I had had a heart attack.  So I am in the midst of making a personal life change, today as I put on my sneakers for the morning walk, I wasn't paying attention to things, as I walked outside I discovered it had snowed, and it was fricking cold out here.  With wind chill it was 10 below.  It's only the 9th of October for Chriminy's sakes it was 80 degrees 2 weeks ago, there is still a forest fire burning 4 miles from my home. (although it is moving slow-at least it's warm)  Now I am back inside the house looking out the window thinking of the frozen water in the underground sprinklers and going stir crazy, the pugs keep trying to entice me to lay down (it's tempting, warm little happy things) but I want to do something.  Part of the life change is going to be moving to another home, so I'll just pack and think of the sun and warm things